venting.

your still in my mind. you still haunt me. i don't want to stay in touch, but then again, i do. your not as close to me as you used to be. & i'm okay with that. i don't wanna rush into things.
life as in right now, it seems so perfect. but in a way, it's not either. & it's beginning to scare me. i don't want a perfect life. then it'll become so predictable, that it's nothing new anymore. i want EXCITEMENT! i want everyday to become a surprise! new things happening every single day.
moving, i hate moving. i moved so many times in my life. why again? i want to settle in just ONE place. all this packing & unpacking, it's too much work. this house has so many memories, this area has a WHOLE bunch of memories. i feel like i'm throwing them away.
i need time with friends, just old friends. people who i haven't been able to keep in touch with anymore. i miss you guys. why can't life be the same as it used to be? 6th grade, is where i want to be. a time where nothing else mattered but happiness<3
i may look happy to you, but inside, you'll never know if i truly am or not. the real truth is, i'm not even sure myself. i try to be honestly. you know, sometimes, i feel like i put on a mask, give you a show, & sleep on it. i don't truly feel like myself anymore. that person died out a while back.
christmas is coming, & i want to spend it with everybody i know. white snow, snowmen, snowball fights, cuddling next to the fire, drinking hot chocolate how yummy<3