FUCK YOU.

shit, i really wasted my time. i thought at least once, when i talk to you, you would at least be happy that i finally talked to you at least once in this long period! but no. all you responded was, "You too."

I don't even fucking deserve a FULL sentence? man, FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! i heard you changed a lot since we stopped talking. i thought you would at least be more respectful if i talked to you AT LEAST ONCE. but no. you haven't changed your ways towards me. NOT ONCE.

you don't even deserve my friendship at all. i gave myself time to keep it together to build up the courage to face you and fix our relationship. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, it's fucking christmas! & yet i'm sitting here venting when i could be doing something more.

i don't even know why i try to be your friend anymore. christmas wish gone. it's not gonna come true anymore. thanks a lot. Merry Christmas.

good or bad.

i've done something to help a friend. and it feels good cause it made an impact on them. but then, this whole day, the things i tried to do, hurt all three of them. i didn't mean to. i just wanted everything to clear up, & that everything will be fine. but it blew up in my face.

i'm glad that i could spend the day with you today & made you feel a lot better than you did. i really am. but i'm also sorry that those things happened today, to everyone. i won't be involved anymore. i'll let you three solve it.

santa, am i a good person for helping out a friend? or am i a bad one for hurting three people who really depend on me. it's all my fault.

YES FINALLY.

I GOT MY INTERNET BACK! no more dying of boredom (: for two days straight, i had to do nothing but 6 straight hours of games, & 4 or 5 hours of dvds. i was literally going crazy.

alrighty now, this is was had happen so far. saturday was like, the highlight of my week so far. nice way to start off the break<3 went to six flags for JIMMY DAO'S birthday (: but bad things also happened that day. D: when we was on the superman, i almost dropped my camera! right when we get up at the top, i pull out my camera to take pictures. & as i start to slip it on, BOOM. we drop. shit, i was ready! D:

then that night, on the way driving back to garland for chili's, we get into a car accident with a damn red jeep. poor jimmy's car. his hood was badly dented :[ then when we continued on the road later on, we saw this car get into an accident! IT FUCKING BLEW UP IN FLAMES! well not the whole thing (: luckily that guy had a fire extinguisher in the trunk (:

& then when i came home, i got bitched at for going out without asking. shit i asked the day before -____________-" then my sister came home & woke me up when her loud ass voice. but i don't blame her. she got into her first fight that night. some crazy ass bitch attacked tina & my sister happened to jump in to pull her off. but hey! if you see my sister, don't mention this to her (;

then since sunday till now, i stayed home dying D: can't wait for tomorrow! (:

one more thing, QUIT, JUST QUIT. damn. i hate it when you do these kinds of things to me. i don't appreciate you doing it everytime.

first day of moving,

TOTALLY SUCKS. i have to share a room with my bitchy ass sister. it's so sad. I HATE IT. i hate it hate it hate it! i want to live at my old place. :[ the thing that made it worse, was that i had to pack & study for anatomy & w.history. stayed up to two in the morning. i just totally gave up to sleep<3 & i ended up failing like a bitch D:

okay for the first time ever, i'ma mention their name. AMBREA needs to STFU i swear. I don't ever fucking command you to do shit. i, ASK. i say PLEASE. even though i don't even want to. i try to be nice. ouu i swear, one day, you'll get your ass kicked. acting hard when your NOT. arghh.

okay positive stuff now, TODAY! is
JIMMY DAO'S BIRTHDAY /big>
HAPPY HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY! (: only a year closer to old age >:D

-will post pictures later on about the new place.
you know, my music shit don't work no more D:

STFU.

damn. i don't know if it's even worth playing basketball anymore. I DON'T DO SHIT TO YOU. i ask nicely for you to do something & you go on about something else & get pissed off. shit. all i asked was to NOT TOUCH ME when i'm playing. i hate being touched. & what do you do? you go off on me talking like i don't know what i'm doing & then go ahead & call me slow. bitch please. quit talking. YOUR the reason why i don't wanna play anymore.
i'm tired of this shit. we mess around too much, we don't get enough play time cause we think this is all stupid. it's stupid alright, but it's what makes me BETTER. & you know what? today's game, it brought back the things he said to me. "North Garland sucks. You always sucked. Freshmen, JV, & Varsity. No matter what, you guys lose. What's the point in going to watch you guys lose?" i almost even believed those words today.

venting.

your still in my mind. you still haunt me. i don't want to stay in touch, but then again, i do. your not as close to me as you used to be. & i'm okay with that. i don't wanna rush into things.
life as in right now, it seems so perfect. but in a way, it's not either. & it's beginning to scare me. i don't want a perfect life. then it'll become so predictable, that it's nothing new anymore. i want EXCITEMENT! i want everyday to become a surprise! new things happening every single day.
moving, i hate moving. i moved so many times in my life. why again? i want to settle in just ONE place. all this packing & unpacking, it's too much work. this house has so many memories, this area has a WHOLE bunch of memories. i feel like i'm throwing them away.
i need time with friends, just old friends. people who i haven't been able to keep in touch with anymore. i miss you guys. why can't life be the same as it used to be? 6th grade, is where i want to be. a time where nothing else mattered but happiness<3
i may look happy to you, but inside, you'll never know if i truly am or not. the real truth is, i'm not even sure myself. i try to be honestly. you know, sometimes, i feel like i put on a mask, give you a show, & sleep on it. i don't truly feel like myself anymore. that person died out a while back.
christmas is coming, & i want to spend it with everybody i know. white snow, snowmen, snowball fights, cuddling next to the fire, drinking hot chocolate how yummy<3